Have Reasonable Expectations from Your Children

Every parent has expectations of their children. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires. They are important. Expectations form the foundation for many things in our lives.

As a parent, it is your duty to discover and develop his hidden talents and not impose your own desires on him to fulfill your dreams. The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. But, it is not easy to draw a line between reasonable and unreasonable expectations.

It helps to read books, do some research and educate yourself about what to expect from your child at every stage. These books are written by experts and experienced parents. They will help you get a fair idea of what to expect.

And, inside, look at yourself objectively, or put yourself in the shoes of the child and you will get a fairly good idea whether it is you or your children who are being unreasonable.

Children cannot be compared, and it is one of the most common mistakes parents make when they compare their child with the neighbor’s. If your child happens to be average in studies, try your best to help him improve but learn to accept it. All children are not born to be geniuses. Your child might have some other talent; look for it and develop that instead of harping on grades.

Frustration is the other side of the coin of expectation. Unreasonable expectations will lead to serious disappointment. Allow your child to grow freely within the accepted framework of society and don’t impose unnecessary standards that must be achieved. This way, you will automatically cut out child behavioral problems.

Once you've established what is reasonable as an expectation in child behavior or child discipline in different areas, formulate a set of goals and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they've reached one.

Children thrive on love and praise. Encouraged by rewards they strive to reach higher goals. Never try to impose your desires onto your children. If you couldn’t achieve your goals, don’t re-live your dreams through your children. That only creates negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

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Article Source: http://publisherscloninghouse.com

Dr. Noel Swanson is a child psychiatrist who specializes in child behaviour problems. He writes for a fascinating website with lots of parenting help that is well worth a visit, not to mention his must-read book, The GOOD CHILD Guide.
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